Let me be [b.r.i.e.f], and say PCOS, aka: Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome does exist.
Today I happen to come across this blog where she asks that question.
My heart jumped in response: YES! oh how I wish it didn't and I didn't have it.
I'm. angry. at. my. body. for. having. this. & I make an ugly angry person. (not like Jennifer Anniston or Courtney Cox on 'Friends'--who are dainty in their so-called-rage fits)
Even on my best of days, PCOS {can} shake my "s t r e n g t h"despite what I want the world to think.
Don't you think I would want to be a fertile myrtle?
...rhetorical question, I realize that's not the dream either.
I've lost weight. Yay for having big dogs that need walks!
I've prayed turns out Jesus doesn't = Santa
I've relaxed. in cancun & at home.
And I can't count how many homeopathic remedies we've tried. don't get me started.
I've even, admittedly, scolded my ovaries. I'm studying psychology. we're notoriously bad at psychoanalyzing ourselves so go ahead and take a whack at it.
***And here's what I've got to say:***
Any road that doesn't start with
...focusing on trusting God & loving my husband, ends in utter failure.
Time and time again, I prove my humanity by trying to fix myself.
BUT It's in God's hands.
Even now. I'm undergoing fertility treatments YUCK
after several months of hormone treatments last year DOUBLE YUCK
then an 8 month break from medical intervention and some needed mental re-focusing...
I decided to quit my job and attend a private Christian school where I can try TRY and TRY my hardest at something...and ACTUALLY SUCEED, while focusing on God. win-win
Now, here we are.
We're back at infertility treatments, with a new perspective and a new {more hopeful} doctor.
The difference is, this time, the medicine isn't our "saving grace"
We have realized that we are our own family ALREADY.
We're not basing our happiness on the infamous
|two pink lines.|
We're happy together. God's given us so much to be thankful for.
As he does everyone, in different ways.
If we're lucky enough to be some of the few that get pregnant with my condition, we'll shout praises of joy. and we're going to fight tooth and nail with medical "remedies" out there.
And if we can't.
guess what.
we'll shout praises of joy.
God's using us for big things. We know it. The Bible says so.
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
I refuse to let Satan aka: king of manure heap to ruin my/our life with PCOS.
I know this is a vast tangent from arts and crafts. but maybe you can see into my heart a little, and realize I just need to get it out every once in a while.
especially when someone says it possibly could be my fault in the first place.
POOEY.
Be Blessed! The DIY Wifey,
No comments:
Post a Comment